


We all go Crashing Down [ DISCONTINUED ]

by FanfictionFever



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Difficult Decisions, F/M, I'm a terrible human, Jealousy, M/M, Secret Admirer, Typical Love Story, Why do people let me write?, no regrets, so much happens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-02-11 04:24:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12927387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanfictionFever/pseuds/FanfictionFever
Summary: John Laurens is jealous that his best friend ( and crush ) Alexander Hamilton has a girlfriend. That doesn't mean he hates ELiza. Quite the opposite, really. She's beautiful, kind, and smart. One day they decide that, when the three of them go out, John looks absolutely miserable. This causes Alexander to find John a date, and soon he ends up falling for the man he was set up with.But then the unexpected happens: someone he once had a thing for admits to being in love with every last part of John. Notes show up in his notebooks, where he usually sits at lunch, and in his clothes bag while he showers. Now everything about the man he met and this man are mixing, and John has no idea who to choose.Does he go with the rich man who can offer everything, who seems to love him with all his heart, or should John choose to find the man leaving him poems, who probably has nothing but love to offer?In other words, your average typical love story.





	1. The Set-Up

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys I am here with another story I most likely won't finish!  
> Don't worry I have people to keep me on track this time, so I may get a little more done than usual.

_Click._

The phone was warm in his hands as John unlocked the screen. It shot to life, the brightness too high for his eyes to handle at first which caused the male to close them. Eventually he manned up and looked at the screen, moving quick enough to turn the brightness down almost all the way. 

A message stared back at him. 

_Buzz._

Another message popped up. It was from Alexander, his best friend. While Alexander was in an oddly happy relationship with a woman named Eliza, John was single and third wheeling a lot when they went out. 

Eliza likes seafood.

Let’s invite Eliza she enjoys the park.

Swimming? Eliza loves the beach!

Eliza.

Eliza.

Eliza.

Now he offered to hook John up. 

Apparently seeing his face while they’re out is not pleasant. He looks mopey, upset, and sometimes downright pissed off. Which wasn’t a lie.  
He was tired of the girl. He was upset that she was with Alexander. Most of all, though, he was pissed that Alexander did not realize John liked him. A lot. More than a friend.  
He sighed and stared as three dots showed, indicating that Alexander was typing yet again. It wasn’t a shock. The guy texted like he wrote: big paragraphs that John is too lazy to read and just skims over. After a minute it popped up, three paragraphs long.  
John finally decided to respond in his own way. 

_[ To: Ham Ham ]_  
_> 2 lazy 2 read ur shit rn_  
_> just send the main points  
_ _> summarize for once_

The dots showed up again. A ( slightly ) shorter text showed up. 

_[ From: Ham Ham ]_  
_> If you insist.  
_ _> There is this boy I met in my French class. He’s a junior, and he is very much single and apparently looking. I asked his sexuality_ ( really? ) _and he joked, saying I’m forward. I admit it must have been just a little bit so, but I did receive an answer. He is bisexual, and would love to join us on a double/blind date. His name is Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette_ ( jesus - ). _I told him just a little about you, and he is extremely interested. What do you say?_

_[ To: Ham Ham ]_  
_> took u 3 para to tell me a guy wants to go out ????_  
_> ig i can go  
_ _> whr r we goin?_

_[ From: Ham Ham ]  
> That’s great! You’ve been looking so down lately John trust me this is going to be good for you. I was thinking that we could go to that new seafood place, Fly Fish. Eliza said she would really want to try it, and he seems fond of seeing how, as he put it, “You Americans eat fish.” Did I mention he’s French? I should have probably said that. Totally passing French with fly colors, and at first I was shocked because he always got A’s but I realized why when I heard him talk. That guy as an accent so thick I could barely understand what he said, especially when he started to talk fast. He talks a lot by the way. So much even I could barely get a word in, and I’ve been told I talk a lot. _

_Anyways, I thought you two would want to go out mostly based off of this. I mean you talk so little, always look ready to beat someone up, and honestly Eliza says Peggy is just a tiny bit afraid of you at times. Which I don’t blame her you can be scary. He’s almost like the missing puzzle piece! This guy talks a lot and he’s so strong I bet he could even take Hercules on in an arm wrestle. No offense but sometimes you get a little out of hand, and he seems like a guy who can handle that kind of thing, you know?_

_What do you say, Jacky? Go on a double/blind date with Liza, this French guy, and I? Sounds like a plan?_

_[ To: Ham Ham ]_  
_> wtf_  
_> i ask 1 question_  
_> seafood got it  
_ _> pik me up ?_

_From: Ham Ham ]  
> Eliza and I can get you around six? It’s about thirty minutes to walk, so you definitely don’t do that. Make sure you dress nice. I already told him to, and I think he’s wearing a tuxedo? I asked Hercules to do a small check - you know, make sure he isn’t a murderer - and this guy is loaded John. He’s rich, nice, and handsome. If Eliza wasn’t with me I think I would steal him myself ;) _

John threw his phone aside and stared at the ceiling. His roommate, Thomas Jefferson, glanced at him from the desk. His eyebrow was raised and half a Ritz hung from his mouth. Slowly john stood, walked over, and took the cracker, shoving the rest into his own mouth. The other man had made no effort to stop him, instead giving a slight smirk that seemed to fade away rather quickly.

“That was very rude.” Thomas stated bluntly, taking another from the package sitting by his laptop. “What’s up?” 

“Alexander.” John muttered out in reply. 

Ah, yes, Thomas Jefferson. See the thing about being a freshman in college was the fact that they strongly, strongly recommended getting a roommate. Of course they took no as an answer, but they said the year would be a lot easier. Not just that, but a new friend would be made. John had mumbled something about not caring while Alexander requested a private room (it costed more, but with Washington as his adopted father it didn’t matter). That’s how he got stuck with Thomas Jefferson. 

Now don’t take that the wrong way.

Thomas is an okay friend. Well, not really a friend. An okay roommate. John doesn’t hang out with him much other than the occasional study session, tutoring that he’s offered, or going out to eat with one another. He was smart, tough, and stood for what he believed. Needless to say he was like Alexander in ways. More than one. Which would be why the two could be seen clashing, getting into detailed debates and fights over various topics. Opposites attract while similarities repel. 

Not to mention he wasn't exactly an eyesore. His hair was rather...big? It seemed to stay as an afro upon his head, unable to tame unless he stuck it up. His face was in a constant shape of unshaved, but never seemed to grow too long. He was tall and masculine, but not masculine enough to really _show._ The man seemed to be the opposite of John in looks, being tall where John was short, dark where John was ( even just a tad ) lighter. They both matched in the curly hair, but at least John could shove a brush through his ( but he chose not to because of how it puffed ). 

“Care to elaborate on that statement, Laurens?” Thomas questioned, attention now turned to his laptop. He was still listening. He always was. It was like the man had some type of weird power: if someone around him talked, he heard. No matter what. 

“He invited me on a date. A double and blind date. Alexander fucking set me up with a guy I have never heard of, who is apparently French, loaded, and attractive. The worst part is he set this up without asking me if I wanted to find somebody in the first place!” he ranted, now pacing the room, hands flying in various motions as he ranted just a little. Bad habits stuck around. 

Thomas had once again began to stare at John, an eyebrow raised. He leaned back in his chair, sticking a foot up on the desk and crossing his legs. No words were said, but John could feel the man’s eyes on him. 

“If you don’t enjoy it,” he began slowly, still staring at John as he did, “then why accept the invitation?” 

John stopped dead in his tracks and stared at Thomas. Why did he end up saying yes? Maybe it was just because it was Alexander asking. Making sure he was okay. It showed that the guy still cared for him. Though he had mentioned Eliza wanting him to find someone to because of how he always seemed to look.

“I guess I do kind of want to find somebody who wants more than a booty call.” he mumbled, glancing away from Thomas when he mentioned booty calls. 

No surprise that he has, indeed, slept with his roommate. Once, twice, maybe more. John hasn’t bothered to count, and it wasn’t like they did it very often. Sometimes just near big tests when they needed to relieve stress that had built up. 

Besides it didn’t mean anything. It was just for stressful or sleepless nights.

“Then find an outfit instead of complaining. Take a shower, too. You haven’t done that in a while.” 

John let his stare linger for a few more seconds before nodding and walking to grab his shower supplies as well as a towel. Public showers weren’t his favorite thing in the world, but it was a lot better than being filthy all year long. Then again there was always that one fucking kid that opened the curtain and took pictures. Yes, there was a time during September when John’s nudes were sent all over campus. Of course people got over it after the next victim, but now John always brought some way to keep the damn thing tightly closed.  
Never letting that happen again.

When he got to the showers, John was comforted to notice no one else in there with him. He let out a long breath that he had not really realized was being held in his lungs. Walking into the small area, John pulled the curtain closed and stripped, putting his clothes inside a small plastic bag and hanging it by the towels.  
Once the water hit a tingle seemed to flow through his body. It was warm, but John turned the knob slightly to make it hotter. Now it seemed to be hot, just enough to redden his skin a little. Perfect. 

After washing up, John took the towel, wrapped it around his waist, and walked back to his room. When he arrived Thomas was gone, a note stuck on his laptop. 

_John -_  
_Went to Madison’s dorm to discuss stuff. Have fun on your date.  
Thomas_

The note carried a bitter tone, but John wasn’t about to pay attention to it. Thomas always carried a bitter note.  
John dropped the towel and made his way to his closet, opening it wide and huffing when he saw that he owned almost nothing fancy. Yes there was a dress shirt and khakis, but Alexander said this guy was rich. That he would wear a suit and tie. Maybe…

_[ To: Jeffershit ]  
> got anything nice i can borrow?_

_[ From: Jeffershit ]_  
_> closet v end on left  
_ _> 2 suits + some ties choose whichever _

_[ To: Jeffershit ]  
> thnx_

That was another good thing about Jefferson: he was just a little over John’s size. Not too much, and John could find a way to just barely fit in the taller man’s clothing. They tended to wear each other’s clothes more often than not, sometimes with permission while other times it is a complete accident. 

John made his way to the closet, sliding the door open and staring inside. Every outfit was spotless, ironed, and put inside of some type of plastic. He couldn’t help but snicker as he shuffled through, finding the suits and ties. One suit was an emerald color, along with some type of white undershirt. It was nice, yes, but not John’s style. The other was black, so plain, but better than flashy. 

Best to blend. 

He took that along with the simple blue tie and stuck it on, taking a quick look in the mirror. The sleeves were just long enough to cover his hands, and the pants seemed to drag on the floor just a little. A low groan came from the male as he tried to fix the outfit. With a bobbypin here and a small clip there, the suit was now the perfect length. Magic. 

_Buzz._

Deep breath.

_Buzz._

Don’t ruin this.

_[ From: Ham Ham ]  
> We’re here! _

Here goes nothing.


	2. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date went better than John originally thought, but when he gets back to the dorms something odd happens.

Alexander’s car was small, but it was enough to fit up to four grown people. Five if they were smaller and able to fit three in the back seats. Eliza turned to John who sat in the center seat of the back, fitting better than most his age would be able to. She offered a smile, and he easily returned. 

“How are you, Laurens?” she asked softly, blue eyes seeming as though they were going to see into his soul. That was how she was.

Perfect for Alexander, really. No lie would pass by either of them. If you lied to Alexander, he stared at you. His brown eyes would be wide, face full of disappointment as you said the word ‘nothing.’ He knew it was a lie. Eliza wouldn’t give that face, but much like him she knew a lie. Her eyes would examine, never leaving the person. The soft question would escape her pink lips in a simple breath: _‘Why do you lie?’_

Lies no one could get away with.

Different from John. If someone lied, he didn’t know. If he did know he didn’t ask. There wasn't a point in his eyes. Weren't they lying to avoid something?

“I’m fine.” he mumbled back, eyes not leaving hers.

Eliza stared for a moment longer, eyes studying him. She did not say a word, but nodded and turned around. Maybe something inside told her to leave it. He was thankful.  
The car what was once in motion came to a stop. As they exited the car, Eliza pulled him to the side. Her eyes were staring into his. 

“You can talk to me.” she stated simply, lips in a tight line. It was unexpected and left John in a slightly shocked state. Why did she have to be like that? Why couldn’t she just let him dislike her?

“I know.” he replied before Alexander took their arms and dragged them inside. 

The place was beautiful for a seafood restaurant. He had expected to see wooden floors, old lobsters in tanks, people laughing with mouths full. Instead he was greeted with the opposite, floors of marble and people dining in fancy get-ups not too different from their group. It made John just a little anxious. 

The trio was led to a table where a man was seated. John paid no attention to him much, too shocked at the fact Alexander brought them somewhere so fancy.

“Good evening, Lafayette.” she said in her light, happy voice. The man stood to greet them, hand coming out to shake with Alexander. When he took Eliza’s, he bent down and kissed it. No shock that John got the same treatment as her, his hand being lifted and kissed.

John didn’t say anything though.

Instead he took this time to lightly tune everyone else out. He glanced at Eliza. Now that they were out of the car he could see her fully, outfit and all.

Her brown hair but porcelin skin always went nice with the colors she wore. Usually she had pastels, mostly blue but sometimes pink. Tonight she was in a beautiful pastel blue dress that went to the floor, a bit past her feet, but it wasn’t too long. She could walk without stumbling, and her shoes stayed hidden beneath the fabric. It went well with the light, pink ribbon tied in her hair that put just a bit in a small ponytail while the remaining hair fell over her shoulders in a straight line.

Alexander seemed to match her in his own way. He had a dark grey suit on, but the tie was a beautiful pastel blue color and obviously tied by the girl that stood by him. His long hair was up in a ponytail and his face was unshaven, but did not fail to stay tidy. His shoes were plain black, and the pants were grey like the top. In other words: he looked fucking perfect.   
John hadn’t realized he was staring until Alexander began motioning to Lafayette with his head. Quickly he looked at the French man and, just as he did with Alexander, stared in pure shock. 

The first thing he noticed was his look. Maybe it was sheer coincidence, but Lafayette looked just like Thomas. Everything was almost exact, and for a second he thought this was Jefferson in disguise. 

His hair seemed to have the same afro-type of texture, but he did what Thomas never did: put it in a bun. It wasn’t messy like Alex would do, but neat. It seemed as though someone with careful hands had done it. The suit he wore was navy blue, much like the other John spotted in Thomas’s closet. That raised a little more suspicion on whether this was his roommate in disguise. His face seemed a little more shaven, though, having just a slight beard on his chin. Less than Jefferson. 

Lafayette smiled a him before pulling out a chair. At first John thought it was for Eliza, but it turned out the woman wasn’t joining them. Now that he was looking at the two, neither was Alexander. The two were seated at a table located at the other end of the room, and while John wanted to question it he decided it best not to. 

Alexander knew to look at him. Get up to go to the restroom if John was. He wasn’t completely alone with a stranger, just seated alone with one at a rather fancy and expensive restaurant. 

Which was fine.

“You look really nice.” John noted, eyes not leaving the menu that Lafayette had handed to him sometime earlier. Everything looked expensive, and something in John yelled that he couldn’t afford this. He had ( against Alexander’s wishes ) brought his wallet. Inside was $20.38. Everything on the menu was at least $20. 

“ _Merci._ You look ravishing, _mon amour._ ” Lafayette responded, and it was that moment that John realized this definitely was not Thomas Jefferson in disguise. Even he couldn’t fake an accent so thick, and while he did speak French the words never seemed to roll off his tongue with so much ease. 

There was a small amount of silence before Lafayette spoke up again. It wasn’t something John expected, but it wasn’t exactly forward. “Tell me of you.”

John felt his face light up. Nobody was ever too interested, and the only two people who knew a lot about him was Alexander and Peggy Schuyler, Eliza’s younger sister who smuggled her way into John’s life. He thought for a moment before speaking again.

“Why don’t we play a game?” he finally offered, eyes now lingering from the menu to look at Lafayette. When it was obvious he was listening, John set the menu down completely and ran his tongue over his lips as he thought. The other leaned in a little, obviously curious what kind of thing John had in mind. 

“There’s a game a girl I went to highschool taught me. She was my only friend before Alexander came around Sophomore year. It was what we played when we first met.” he explained, not wanted to take the credit of the game Bee taught him. “We say a truth about ourselves, and as the game goes on it gets deeper. Worse.”

“It’s a fun game if you really want to know if somebody will stay around with you no matter what. We can go up to any number of your choice, or just go to the number Bee kept it at. Which was five.” John finished explaining, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. 

By now Lafayette was giving full attention. A light smirk played on his lips, and he slowly began to nod. “So it is the game...truth or dare, but without dare?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow. “ _Oui._ To five we go.”

“Great. I can start us off.” John picked up the menu, opened it, and scanned the items before speaking up once again. “I have never cared for seafood. It isn’t exactly the fact I hate it, but I would rather not eat things I love, and I love sea animals.” 

It was an innocent truth. Something simple to start them with. 

“You do not like it, yet you let Alexander drag you on this date to a place that serves just that?” Lafayette questioned, leaning onto his arm. The menu he had was folded neatly at his side, and he made no movement to touch it. 

“He said a double date. I’m not one to bail on something like this, so I decided to join. Besides, it isn’t like I won’t eat, but I won’t enjoy it.” he admitted, setting down the menu after choosing the cheapest item he could find: some type of grilled shrimp that looked disgusting, but was around $15. 

“I dislike fast food.” Lafayette chimed, crossing his arms and legs. “It does not set well with me.” 

“I didn’t properly learn how to read in English until I was ten.” John offered, earning a slight smile and laugh from the other. 

“I did not learn until twelve.” Lafayette challenges. 

“I only found out I’m gay because Bee kissed me. We wanted to check it out because Martha Manning was all over me, but I wasn’t into her.”

“I found out my own when I was speaking about a man’s ass with an old girlfriend.”

“Martha Manning forced me to make out with her. We’re still friends, but she doesn’t accept that I’m gay and keeps thinking I say it so I don’t date her.” John said, staring Laffayette in the eyes. Part of him said it was too much, but that was the game. 

“I once cheated on a girl I was with. I slept with the queen’s daughter.” Lafayette stated, eyes not leaving John’s. 

One more truth for them both. 

This had gone downhill fast, and when he thought about it he never went so fast with Bee. The two of them played the game for a good month before finally learning one another’s darkest secrets, but here he was, staring a complete stranger in the eyes, spilling out things he had only told two other people in his lifetime. 

“I was -” John began, only to be interrupted by a cough. Relief spilled over him. 

He didn’t want to tell Lafayette one of his deepest secrets. 

They looked over and saw the waiter, a young woman no older than twenty-five. She smiled, though she had obviously been standing there for quite sometime. 

“My name is Anna Strong, and I will be your waitress. May I start you with a drink?” the woman, Anna, asked softly. 

“John, are you ready to order love?” Lafayette asked, eyes now going to look at John once again. John nodded his head, suddenly unable to speak.

How much had she heard?

“Great then. We are ready to order food and drinks, beu.” he said, before going off in a long, complicated order John couldn’t understand. Anna, though, seemed perfectly fine with it. She scribbled the words on her pen with lightning speed, and turned to John once she finished. 

“And you?” she asked, some of her chocolate brown hair falling over her face as she spoke. 

“Just the grilled shrimp with some water.” he said quietly, taking a deep breath after she nodded and wrote it. 

After giving a light goodbye, Anna walked away. The two were once again left alone, and honestly John didn’t know what to say anymore. Did he want to continue the game? Maybe they should sit here and just talk, not tell secrets.

“My mother and father did not raise me.” Lafayette spoke finally, squinting at John just a little. “My godfather, Pierre, raised me instead.”

“My mother died when she got very sick. My father hated me, and I practically raised myself.” John replied, and the two shared a light smile.

*****

“How did it go?” Alexander asked as the three made their way to the car. His hand was linked to Eliza’s, the two walking as though they were inseparable. 

It was dark outside. A little chilly, and John honestly wishes he had brought a coat. Thomas had suits that looked nice, but they seemed to provide little to no warmth. That was annoying, and it tortured John as he walked the longer distance from the exit to the car.

“It went well, honestly. We played a small game, and decided that we can bare each other enough to go on a second date. So I got his number.” John admitted, taking a deep breath and offering the two a smile. “Thanks.”

“You deserve happiness.” Eliza said, putting her free hand on John’s arm softly. 

“You do, too. Both of you.” John stated, giving a smile.

The ride back to his dorm was quiet. No one wanted to speak, and instead they played a few songs from John’s phone. There were five text messages, three from Thomas and two from Lafayette, but he didn’t want to answer them yet. Didn’t want to exit the YouTube app which for some reason still doesn’t play when you leave it. 

Finally they arrived, and John climbed out. He waved to his friends, happier than he was when he left. Inside the dorms it was unbelievably warm, and John felt the difference as soon as he entered. Once in his room he stripped down and shoved his pajamas on.

“How was it?” Thomas asked, laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling. There were three empty bottles of beer sitting on his bedside table and one still half full. It was around eight on a Friday night, so neither of them actually had class tomorrow. John walked over, picked up the half filled one, and took a long drink.

“It went well.” he admitted, sitting on the edge of Thomas’s bed and looking at him. He held up the bottle, swinging it just a bit. “Something wrong? You usually don’t drink like this.”  
“Fuck off I can drink if I want to.” Thomas snapped, causing John to jump a little. 

John smiled and gave a light laugh, patting the man’s leg as he stood. “Well I’m gonna go shower again before I go to sleep. Lafayette kinda got sauce in my hair. Anything you need?”  
Thomas grumbled something and turned over, not bothering to give a real answer. John shrugged, grabbed his things, and walked out. 

After his shower, John went to get dressed when he saw the folded piece of paper that was laying on top of his clothes. Slowly he unfolded it, reading what was written. His cheeks lit up, and he looked around as though whoever wrote it would still be standing there. When he saw no one, he folded it again before quickly walking back to the dorm, closing the door, and laying in bed. That night was sleepless. 

The note wouldn’t leave his mind.


	3. Guide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I realized I need a small list showing who is who, now old, and what they major in. New chapter coming soon don't worry!

John - 21 - Art major   
Alexander - 21 - Law major  
Eliza - 20 - Major in nursing   
Angelica - 28 - A doctor  
Peggy - 18 - Highschool senior   
Aaron - 22 - Law major  
Theodosia - 22 - Culinary arts  
Thomas - 22 - Law major  
Lafayette - 21 - Majoring to be a French teacher   
Hercules - 21 - Majoring to be a tailor   
Maria - 20 - Art major   
George Washington - 47 - Senator


	4. The Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discussions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note - 
> 
> _Your freckles are like stars,_
> 
> _Reminding me of the galaxy._
> 
> _Infinite, terrifying, but beautiful all the same._
> 
> _I wish, my dearest Laurens,_
> 
> _That one day,_
> 
> _I will trace every last freckle,_
> 
> _And I wish, to one of these days,_
> 
> _To call you mine._

“This was to you?” Alexander asked for what felt like the millionth time. “Not that you can’t receive nice things! It’s just, well, you are not the most levelheaded person.”

It was Saturday, and since neither had class they decided to go out and have a little fun. Nothing big: lunch, a movie, and then going out to dinner. For some reason Alexander offered to pay, saying his father sent him a little early Christmas gift. A month early. 

At the moment they were in McDonald’s, a shake in front of them as they waited on the food that was, for some reason, taking a lot more time than it should. John took a sip, letting the cold vanilla cover his mouth. Slowly he exhaled through his nose, eyes closing as he spoke. 

“Yes it was. My name is on it, is it not?” John questioned, leaning forward and snatching the paper from Alexander’s hands as he did. To him the paper was precious. Was he going to go on another date with Lafayette? Of course. Were they actually a thing? Not yet, so he was going to let this admirer thing drag for as long as possible. 

It was nice to feel loved. 

“Do you have a clue who it is?” Alexander asked, picking up his own shake and taking a long drink. His eyes did not leave John as he did so.

Now there was a thought that, surprisingly, did not occur to the male after reading the note. Who left it? How did they know John was going to the showers? More importantly, how did he not hear whoever it was come up to his big? It wasn’t like feet were too quiet against a wet floor. The only thing he thought when he read the note was that someone liked him, someone really liked him!

He pursed his lips, shaking his head slowly. “No. I hadn’t even actually thought about finding out. I just went to get dressed and it was there. As far as I’m aware there wasn’t anyone else in the showers, and I’m shocked anyone was even awake.” 

“Well looks like you got yourself a secret admirer then my dear Laurens.” Alexander stated plainly, eyes still not looking away. 

Admirer was such a weird word in both spelling and, in John’s opinion, definition. It is a person who has a particular regard for something or someone. People who have such admiration can end up doing some really weird and freaky things, like stalking. Of course something told John he would notice if someone was stalking him. 

“Are you sure?” he asked, eyebrows knitting together.

“Did you really just ask if I, Alexander Hamilton, am sure of something that comes from my mouth? I am _sure_ that you know the answer to that question.” 

The only reply John could manage at that moment was a long, loud, and slightly over exaggerated groan. Alexander didn’t seem to be too surprised by the sound. That was nothing new, and really John tended to make that exact noise everytime the two spent time together. Before he could think of an actual reply, a voice called to them from the front of the store. Both of the male’s looked to see who had called, and immediately there were smiles plastered on their faces. 

“Hammy boy!” Peggy yelled, waving one hand annoyingly as the other was occupied with holding the hand of another girl’s. 

Maria gave a small wave to John, and he waved back. The two took an advanced art class together. She was nice. A freshman, much like John, and taking art as her major. Maria had long, brown hair that she tended to dye into some type of ombre. It faded into a lighter brown, and it was so long and thick John sometimes wondered who had it worse. 

Peggy, on the other hand, had hair that was always up in a ponytail. He had never seen her without it. The girl was small, but managed to be taller than her sister who was a whole two years older. That made Peggy the youngest of the group at the age of eighteen. She wasn’t in college yet, but she was a senior in highschool.

“Peggy!” he exclaimed, standing to run over and hug the girl. Maria let go of her hand and swiftly walked to John, taking the seat by him and stealing a fry. 

As Alexander and Peggy blocked the entrance, John and Maria sat. At first the two were quiet, but they realized that the other two were probably not coming back anytime soon. Maria glanced at him, and he offered another fry. This time it was from Alexander’s bag, and she laughed as she took it. 

“You are not on a date, are you?” she questioned, an eyebrow raised. No one else knew of John’s one-sided crush on Alexander. The only real reason Maria knew was because she was once in the same boat, but with Eliza.

Moving to date her sister was not a plan, but somehow she couldn’t resist Peggy. 

“Of course not.” John sighed, placing his head in his hand and glancing at the girl. A slight smile showed on his face as he did. “He offered to go out, so I accepted. Eliza went to see Angelica.” 

“Peggy’s upset because they didn’t exactly invite her to join. They said it was a big girl thing, and talked to her like a child. She was going to follow, but lucky for them I told her my parents are out of town. It was immediate date night.”

The two of them laughed loud enough to grab the attention of Peggy and Alexander, who now decided to make their way over. A shame. 

“What’s so funny?” Alexander asked as he offered Peggy a bite of the cheeseburger he had been munching on. She accepted and took a huge bite from it. 

“Oh nothing. Just laughing at something Maria said.” John replied swiftly, placing as much blame on the woman beside him as he could. That earned him a light smack on the arm, but it was worth not getting a long speech from Hamilton on why he should tell him the joke.

Which he never would anyways, no matter how big the puppy eyes were or how much his lower lip quivered. 

“Screw you, Johnny boy.” Maria laughed as she smacked his arm. “That was most definitely _not_ just my fault. John was the one bringing such a discussion up in the first place.” 

“Oh come on just take the blame for me, Ria. At least Peggy won’t talk to you about why you should tell her until you’re banging your head on the wall only to then give a speech on why banging your head on hard surfaces is dangerous.” 

That got the other two laughing. By now Alexander wasn’t too sensitive when John said things like that. It was different when they first became friends, but after a while he realized John was kidding. In fact he realized John never said too much of anything that was serious. 

He was filled to the brim with sass and rude little comments that were never meant to be true. It was funny, but sometimes it did get the boy into a whole heap of trouble. 

The four sat for a while, telling small stories back and forth. Every now and then Peggy or Maria would steal a bite of food or a sip of a shake. Before they knew it a full hour had passed, and Alexander stood with a loud gasp.

“The movie!” he exclaimed, now gathering the trash to toss it away. 

“Care to join us?” John asked the girls has Alexander rushed them out of the restaurant. They quickly nodded, admitting that they did have free time. 

Alexander drove John in his car while Maria and Peggy went on Maria’s motorcycle. They arrived just in time to buy tickets to the final showing of _Cannibals._ When they got inside they realized that they were alone, just the four of them, so they decided to take up as much room as they could. 

Needless to say, they had a great time. 

 

*****

 

“What’s with you and coming home late?” Thomas mumbled as John walked into the room. The man wasn’t drinking this time, but he was wide awake at twelve in the morning at his laptop, typing away. No glances were spared to John.

“Excuse me for having a life away from school,” he replied, throwing himself onto his small bed and closing his eyes. 

Thomas rolled his eyes and stood, walking over to John and tossing a small piece of paper onto his stomach. John opened an eye and watched as the taller man walked to his desk, sat down, and continued to type. No explanation was given about whatever the hell it was until Thomas looked up and saw John not opening it.

“Slid under the door a few hours ago. No idea who the heck it was, but your name is on it. Decided not to dig around in your business.” he finally said, causing John to sit up and tear the envelope open.

Low and behold there was yet another poem. Romantic. 

He sighed and laid it on his dresser. “You know,” he began, turning on his side to look at Thomas, “you could start being a little nicer. It’s been, like, half a year Thomas. You haven’t even bothered to mention what you’re going to do once break hits.”

“Because I’m staying here,” Thomas stated simply, closing his laptop and looking at John. “If you want to talk we can talk. I won’t disagree to do so.”

“Oh,” John said, sitting up now and pressing his back against the wall. “Well I mean, I guess I just find it weird. We’re roommates, and we’ve like, you know...but we don’t seem to have that same bond all the other roommates have around here.”

“Why compare what we have to what they do?” Thomas asked, leaning back and raising an eyebrow. “Are we not seperate people?” 

“We are, but it’s just weird don’t you think?” 

Thomas rolled his eyes, shaking his head. The question was left unanswered. Not that John really want an answer, but usually Thomas would provide one. 

“What’s the letter?” he asked instead, now rising from his seat and walking to John. He picked the letter up and skimmed it, scoffing a little and shaking his head. Thomas set it down and sat on the edge of his own bed.

“It’s beautiful, don’t you think?” John asked, picking the small note up and stroking the paper with his thumb. “I got another one the other day, after my shower. Alexander said I have an admirer.”

“Bullshit.” Thomas mumbled, now laying down and flipping over so he faced the wall. 

“Why do you say that?” John asked, setting the paper down again. 

That comment was like Thomas. Always so rude and short about matters like this. Sometimes John would think he was jealous, but of what exactly? They agreed on no strings attached. There wasn’t a reason for him to act like this.

“Hamilton is a complete idiot,” Thomas stated, now sitting up and glaring at John. “If anything he’s the one slipping the notes in. Maybe it’s from that Lafayette guy. In which case it isn’t much of an admirer since you have been on a date, right? He’s trying to get with you.”

That was a good point.

Why hadn’t John thought of that? Alexander could have been acting shocked when the notes showed up. Maybe he was sliding them to him for Lafayette. The French male did seem very interested in staying with John, and they were planning on a next date on Friday. He’d ask him then. 

Until then, he would try to catch Alexander in the act of slipping him a note. That would be hard, since the man had the tendency to slip and slide around like a little mouse. 

But that didn’t mean he would give up.


	5. The One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John wants to go on a second date with Lafayette, but is stopped by an unexpected culprit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry sorry !! Finals had me stressed, but luckily winter break is here!
> 
> Note -  
>  _In the darkest part_  
>  _In the middle of the night_  
>  _I need you the most_  
>  _To light my way_  
>  _With your beautiful smile_  
>  _Which shines lighter than the sun itself_

Maybe it wasn’t as it seemed. It _couldn’t_ be right. There was no way what he was told is in any way or form correct!

Back up.

John had woken up to an empty dorm room. Nothing new there. No note left from Thomas, and while that was odd he decided not to say anything because who was he to get up in his business, right? He got dressed, gathered his wallet and such, and went to meet Lafayette.

They decided to have the date just a little earlier than originally planned, but John didn’t feel like complaining about it. Another day out with a handsome man?

Hit him the fuck up!

Lafayette had told him to meet him at a small cafe called _Kitty’s Little Coffee_ and he had agreed. As he walked down, someone put a big, soft hand on his shoulder. John quickly turned and came face to face with James Madison. 

“I need to talk to you, Laurens.” he said before coughing slightly into his other hand. 

“I’m kind of busy, James. Going on a date with -” John began, only to be grabbed by the arm. Now James was forcing the smaller man to walk with him in the complete opposite way than he was supposed to be going. 

“It’s important,” he stated simply, slowly easing his grip but still not letting go. “Thomas messaged me this morning that he was going somewhere. Never said where, nor did he say why. He just messaged me it was somewhere, and frankly I am a little worried.” 

Maybe it was important, but why should John care about such a thing? Jefferson was barely even a friend if they could even consider each other that. If the guy wanted to go missing let him go missing, right? He wanted to run off. 

Even then it wasn’t the first time he’s ran like this. Thomas had a habit of disappearing for a week or so. Where he went or what he did John didn’t know, and really he never gave it much thought. James knew this.   
Why be so worried?

“He does this shit all the times, Madison,” John mumbled, now yanking his arm away. While he could have ran off he decided not to, thinking it best to just walk beside the other. 

James Madison was Thomas Jefferson’s friend. Best friend, no, but just a close childhood friend that he would invite over from time to time. He wasn’t someone John disliked, but he did not hang around him all too often. The man missed class a lot due to illnesses he would easily catch and would always be on Skype with Thomas about whatever they learned.

The two kept walking. James didn’t bother trying to reply to John’s comment about how often this happened, instead speeding up a little. Who ever said tall people are saints? 

Thomas and James are complete jerks. 

Neither of the two seemed to give much mind to the people passing by, bumping into them and forcing them to move to the side as they walked. Frustration filled John as they did, and thoughts kept running through his head. 

Why wouldn’t he slow down?

Where were they going?

All he wanted to do was go on a nice date with Laf - 

Oh shit. 

John stopped in his tracks, whipping out his phone as he did. James didn’t seem to notice at first, still barreling through people, but eventually stopped and turned to him. 

“Short dude we have to go. Like, now." James grumbled, walking to John and trying to take the phone away from him.

Easily John dodged the move, holding up a finger as he called Lafayette. It was answered on the first ring, and immediately he was met with a string of worried little ‘where are you’s from the other man. They were quickly silenced when John spoke.

“My roommate has gone missing. Thomas Jefferson? I think he’s in French with you,” John said, glancing at James. The other now seemed to relax, arms crossed and a stern look still set on his face. 

“Mr. Jefferson has gone?” Lafayette questioned. A small squeak from the other end told John that the man had stood from his chair. “I shall help you look then.”

“You really don’t -” John began only for his phone to be taken by James.

“Thank you, Laf, but we have this one,” he said, hanging up before the man on the other end could give him an answer. James turned off the phone and shoved it in his pocket. 

“What the hell!?” John shouted, reaching to take the small device only to be stopped by a large hand grabbing his wrist. 

The two stood there, eyes not breaking from the other’s stare. Everyone around them seemed to slow to a stop. It was like a zoo: James and John were tigers ready to pounce on one another while the people stopped to watch. Who would win? 

Who would die?

Slowly John let his hand relax, and James let go of his wrist. Both stood there still, unmoving. 

“Help me find him, John.” James stated calmly. 

It wasn’t a question. He wasn’t asking anymore.

“Why?” John asked, hands forming small fists. “Why should I go out and help you find a man who gives no shits of anybody but himself? Thomas has done nothing to gain my friendship in his time as my roommate.”

Silence fell again. 

People stopped staring, finally deciding to mind their own business instead of shoving their noses in private matters. James did not get angry too often. In fact, the man was really slow to anger, but at this moment his face was pure rage. 

“The fuck you mean he doesn’t care, John!?” James yelled. He took in a long, deep breath before continuing. “John Laurens that man has done more for you than he has done for anyone. He lends you clothes when you go on dates. He gives you advice. He wrote -” 

Quickly he stopped himself. That last part was a secret, something he wasn’t supposed to tell John. Well, something he wasn’t supposed to tell anybody really. 

Of course John wasn’t about to let that little slip up go unnoticed. 

“He wrote what?” John asked, eyes scanning James’s face.

James looked up, cursed to the sky, and then looked back at John. His face was more relaxed than before. He looked around before grabbing John and dragging him into a nearby alley.

Wow that wasn’t freaky. 

Once more James looked this way and that as though somebody had followed them. He checked behind dumpsters, in boxes, and even around a corner. When he saw no one else around, James turned to John. He reached into his pocket and pulled something out. He thrusted a closed fist at John, who flinched at the action.

When he didn’t feel the hit he opened his eyes. James stood like a statue, fist out and closed. John slowly stuck his hands under, and a little folded up note fell into them. 

“He wrote the notes,” James said, not looking up again. His lips moved, but no words came out. 

“He didn’t.” John said in disbelief, staring at the paper.   
This wasn’t right.

It was supposed to be Lafayette. Alexander was leaving them for him. Thomas even _said_ that it was most likely them. Unless he was lying to throw John off? 

None of that made sense, though. Thomas was the last person he expected to write these things. They were lame and cheesy. Lame and cheesy. 

James said nothing, just stared at John as he opened the note. A poem just like the ones before stared up at him, and John couldn’t believe his eyes.

“I wouldn’t lie,” James stated before turning and walking away, leaving John alone to slide down a wall and sit on the ground.

Well this is fucking great.


	6. The Accident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note -
> 
>  
> 
> _Your eyes shining like diamonds_  
>  _A heart made of gold_  
>  _I have many regrets_  
>  _I should treat you better_  
>  _I'm sorry_  
>  _I fell for you_

“You’re kidding,” Peggy said before lightly blowing on her newly painted nails. The red went well with her long nails and tan skin. Her eyes were shining with curiosity as she stared John down, a smile on her lips. 

Currently they were seated in John’s dorm. School had gotten out for Thanksgiving break. Thomas had returned, packed things, and left a little note for John. Nothing cheesy, but a small one explaining where he had disappeared to. An errand for someone named John Adams, who didn’t even seem to go here but was ( kind of ) friends with Thomas. Of course John didn’t question it. He never did.

Maybe he should. 

“You can keep staring at the door all you want, but Thomas went back to Virginia. Family, remember?” Peggy laughed, waving a hand in front of his face.

Oh, right. She’s over. 

“Yeah, right. Sorry,” he leaned back, letting his head hit the floor. Ever since James told him who the notes were from, John had been spacing out. There were choices now. “It’s just...he isn’t that kind of guy. Thomas Jefferson, the man who once sold drugs until someone threatened to snitch. Thomas Jefferson, the man who fights with Alexander every second they’re together.”

“Well maybe James lied to you. He probably just wanted you to worry about Thomas disappearing.”

“Why would he even _care_ about that this time? Thomas literally goes for weeks without a word or anything! Unless this time something bad happened with someone to cause Thomas to do something stupid, Madison wouldn’t care.”

Silence filled the room. He could feel Peggy’s eyes burning into him as he stared at the ceiling. Neither of them said anything until her phone chimed. She stood, giving the nails one last blow and groaning. 

“I gotta go. Eliza and Angelica are on their way. You’re lucky they let me spend one hour over here those two were in a crazy rush to get home and see dad,” she spoke softly as she packed the small bag she had brought filled with her nail supplies.

That’s right she does have to go like everyone else. For a whole week.

No Peggy or Maria to hang out with.

No Eliza or Angelica to call when he’s having a freakout. 

No Lafayette who, apparently, had family in France he visited on holidays. He was invited to be introduced as his boyfriend - what a way to ask - but John had declined, saying he wasn’t sure he was even ready for an official thing. 

No Alexander for a week, though he had invited John. Washington was like his second father since he ended up spending a lot of time over there once he met Alex. His father didn’t enjoy a lot of things John did, and he didn’t really enjoy John. At all.

No Thomas for a week...

He sighed and stood, giving Peggy a hug and a light peck on the head. She laughed and gave a light goodbye, waltzing out the door and leaving him alone. The room seemed to get bigger without her or Thomas around. 

What better thing to do then than to go out on a walk?

John stepped outside his room, locking the door and shoving the key in his back pocket. He took out his phone, opening a little playlist he had set up and putting the earbuds into his ears. He walked outside into the cold air, shivering at the contact with his skin. 

No jacket in this weather was probably a bad idea, but like hell he was gonna go back inside just to grab one. It wasn’t too late, only five in the afternoon. 

John began walking around on campus, eventually wondering off of it and into the area nearby. It wasn’t too far off, and really the college he went to was only a five minute drive off. Walking distance. 

He was on his way home when it happened. 

No cars were driving by, and John was on the side of the highway. By now the daylight had completely gone, and the cold wind was piercing his skin. His earbuds were still in, the playlist being on repeat for the third time. It was blaring in his ears.

Which means he didn’t hear the steps.

There was no light to show the shadow behind him.

John was unaware of it until the bat connected with the back of his head, causing John to crumple immediately. 

His vision was going black already, but he refused to stay down. Ripping the earbuds from his ears, John quickly rolled out of the way when the bat struck again. He looked to see who it was, but it was too dark to see an actual face. 

He kicked the man’s leg. Whoever it was grunted and went down, giving John the chance to scramble up. 

Of course he wasn’t alone.

John was grabbed from behind by a pair of strong arms that held him in place. The guy in front stood, laughing as he picked up the bat again. 

“Laurens you really are a _fighter_ aren’t you?” he asked, raising the bat again. “It’s really annoying.”

“Charles?” John asked right before the bat connected with his side. Something cracked, causing John to let out a loud gasp. The grip on him tightened as he began to thrash. 

Then the bat connected with the side of his head. 

John felt himself drifting again. Light shone of them. Screaming, yelling. 

John was dropped.

Someone ran over, and he heard a woman’s voice calling to whoever else was around.

“Aaron forget them!” she called, her hands working quick to wrap John with cloth that felt too thick to be anything that was supposed to be used for bandages. Her jacket, maybe?

“Is he okay, Theo?” a man - Aaron? - asked, now closer than he had apparently been before. 

“Call the ambulance I think they broke something. He’s lucky the bat was wooden.” the woman - Theo? - said, still working on John.

He opened his eyes, squinting at them. “Thank you,” he managed to say before blacking out completely.

 

*****

 

When John woke up the first thing he felt was the splitting headache. With the power Charles Lee - _yes_ that was who had fucking attacked, probably joined with one of his lame buddies - had in his arms from baseball he wouldn’t be shocked if he had a concussion. 

“Oh thank goodness you’re awake,” a familiar voice said. 

John turned his head slowly and saw a woman sitting there. Her lips were a dark shade of red that went well with her reddish-brown skin. Her hair puffed out a bit, and her chocolate colored eyes showed nothing but kindness.

This woman was beautiful. 

“Where am I?” John managed, wincing at the ache that talking gave his head. 

A light smile showed on her face as she walked over, motioning for John to sit up a little. He did so, and she flipped and fluffed his pillow before he laid his head back down. 

“The hospital, love. You were pretty beat up after those men beat you up. A bat and everything...I can’t believe people,” she shook her head as she took a seat on the edge of the bed. “We were told not to ask anything until the results come back because it could stress you and cause worse pain. Two broken ribs and a possible concussion. Really did a number.”

For some reason it didn’t hurt to hear this woman speak. Her voice was pleasant to listen to, like a choir of angels singing to him. 

“I’m John,” he said, staring at the ceiling rather than her now. “You’re Theo, right? Unless I didn’t get the full name.”

“Theodosia. It’s nice to finally get a name, John,” she smiled, resting a hand on John’s leg. 

The touch was soft, far from intimate. It was pleasant. 

“Alright,” began a man who was walking in with two cups of steaming coffee, “I have a vanilla latte for my lady and a caramel for - oh he’s awake.”

The man paused, still halfway in the room. A smile was set on his face showing a row of shiny white teeth. Theodosia stood now, walking to the man and taking the white cup out of his hand and getting a small sip before speaking.

“Aaron this is John, and John this is my boyfriend Aaron,” she said, looking at Aaron and giving a small kiss on his cheek. 

“Nice to meet you, John. Please correct of I’m wrong, but are you Laurens?” he now fully walked in, sitting on the chair that Theodosia had been seated in when John first woke up.

“Indeed. You by any chance wouldn’t be Burr?” John questioned, now smiling at the coincidence of this. 

A laugh came from the other when the question was asked. That left the answer obvious. This was Aaron Burr, Alexander’s friend. Enemy. Both. 

“I see Alexander has mentioned me?” Aaron asked, sipping his coffee.

“Never shuts up. I would say he has a crush on you if half if it wasn’t such shit.” John snorts, closing his eyes. The light was becoming too much. 

Theodosia seemed to read his mind because soon it got darker. John opened his eyes. The lights were off and the curtains shut. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled, suddenly feeling exhausted. 

A few hours passed of them talking. The light outside seemed to be fading enough for Theodosia to open the curtains once again. As it turned out they have seen John on campus, but he never seemed to be paying attention to them. Not surprising.

Soon he heard another voice, but didn’t bother to turn to see who it was. It sounded official. A doctor.

“Visiting is over. You two may come back tomorrow, but for now we should let Mister Laurens rest. His results came. No concussion, but he will have a bad bump for a while.”

Theodosia and Aaron thanked him before walking to John to say a small goodbye.

“See you later to check you out. They want to keep you for tonight. Don’t leave until we’re here please,” Aaron sounded serious. He stepped away, allowing Theodosia to come closer.

She bent down and hugged John softly, kissing his head softly. “Please listen to him. We will be sure to bring you coffee, and we can all go out tomorrow,” 

John nodded, listening to their steps fade. Suddenly he was alone, but it didn’t matter because soon he drifted off into sleep.


	7. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See I was going to write about their day out, but then it got long and I had an idea so now this.

Like they promised they would, both Aaron and Theodosia came and picked him up from the hospital. Really John had been ready to leave himself, just stand and tell them he was going to leave alone. That he had no one. Before he had the chance to even swing his legs over the edge, Theodosia had walked in with a huge smile, arms spread as she wrapped John in a tight hug. 

Aaron was soon to follow, smiling widely as he held two cups of coffee. He handed one to John, and John accepted, taking a small sip.

Peppermint. 

These usually didn’t come out until December, but apparently Aaron knew someone and called in to ask. Alexander mentioned it being John’s favorite once when he was talking about him with Aaron. 

John smiled and hugged Aaron loosely before allowing the two of them lead him from the room and to the front desk. He received a prescription for some pain pills just in case the pain became worse as well as a few bandages. Apparently his temple had a gash that he would need to cover they hadn’t bothered to mention. 

That really explains the headache. 

They walked out of the hospital, the cold wind immediately causing John to shiver. He had changed from the gown and back into the same clothes he wore the night he was attacked. The outfit was covered in dirt from him falling and them kicking him down. Theodosia offered to drive him back to his dorm so he could shower, change, and charge his phone - which had died as he sat talking to them yesterday - before they went out. Of course John agreed, mumbling a thank you as he climbed into the backseat of the vehicle. 

“So what do you guys major in?” John questioned as he buckled the seatbelt. 

“Well,” Theodosia began as she twisted the key to start the car, “I’m in culinary. The one thing I have always wanted to become was a chef, and I am scraping all my money to make sure I’m the best one out there!” 

That was just another reason to respect Theodosia. She was kind, gentle, motherly, and she would do anything in her power to make sure something happened. This was the perfect woman, and Aaron seems to know that, too. Everytime he touches he woman it’s slow, and each kiss seems filled with passion. These two, unlike Alexander and Eliza, don’t make John feel like he’s a third wheel.

Unlike Alexander and Eliza they asked John’s opinion. They brought him into conversation, never just looking at one another and always being sure to look his way. They hugged him and kissed his cheeks and his head. Aaron and Theodosia were like parents, and John was their small child. 

“I am majoring in law with Alexander and your roommate, Jefferson. Those two fight with one another more than Alexander with me, not that it’s a bad thing,” Aaron said, looking at John through the rearview mirror as Theodosia drove.

Much like his girlfriend, Aaron was someone John could respect. He was honest, a trait that John caught onto quickly by the way the man never hid knowing facts about John, kind, and seemed like a rather intelligent man. These were traits his best friend had, but another thing about Aaron was that he did not talk nearly as much. In fact he seemed to talk less, smile more. 

“What about you, John?” Theodosia questioned as she looked at the road, passing a few cars that were going way below the speed limit. Or maybe they were going over? John couldn’t tell since he wasn’t paying too much attention to the limits.

“I’m an art major,” he mumbled, a little embarrassed. These two were so smart, and some people said art majors were a waste of everything. 

“Art?” Aaron asked, now turning in his seat to look at John. “I didn’t peg you for that type of guy. What kind of art do you prefer to do?”

Oh.

That was a question no one cared to ask John before. Not even Thomas or Lafayette. Alexander of course knew the type. He’s been a model for John for as long as he can remember. Eliza posed with Alexander at times as well, and Maria with Peggy. 

“I like to do a lot of realism type of things, though abstract is nice to do as well. I’m not too good at that one though. Usually my friends model for me, or sometimes I do scenery. My notebooks are filled with doodles, though, and sometimes I slip into cartoon style things. Not as much as when I lived back at home, though. My sister’s like to have me paint their walls,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck a little. 

“What made you want to major in art?” Theodosia asked. It was as though the two decided they would ask questions to John back and forth. 

Though that one was a good question, just like the ones before. All the questions they were asking made him have to stop and thing. Dig into the past. He realized that’s what they were doing: getting to know John through asking about his major. 

See someone’s major can say a lot about them. Not what it is, but why they chose to do it. Alexander went into law because he has a lot of strong opinions, and he wants to express them. Thomas is in law because he believes he can make a difference. Lafayette loves France, it’s where he lived, and he wants people to be able to learn the language right which is why he went into foreign language. 

Eliza loves to help people, and she wants to always be able to do that, but she knows she couldn’t operate. Nursing was her best shot. Peggy plans on acting. It’s her biggest passion because she loves to act like someone she isn’t. The girl randomly shoots into characters and practices improve a lot. Maria went into art because she loves being able to paint things she loves, and she loves painting them how she wants. 

Why did John go into art?

“Well,” he began, now looking out the window, “I don’t know. Maybe it had to do with my mother? She died when I was six, but she was the one who bought me my first art kit. My father said it was a waste of money, but she had kept insisting. She told me I had the eyes and heart of an artist. When she died my father tried to shoot it down. It only sparked my interest.

Then he got remarried, and he had three more children. All girls. I was a brother, and I was proud to be one. When I was thirteen my youngest sister had me paint ponies on her wall, and a year before I came to college we painted over it together. It was a scene from her favorite movie, Treasure Planet. That part where Silver is giving a speech to Jim, and we added the words, ‘You got the makings of greatness in ya! But you gotta take the helm and chart your own course, stick to it! No matter the squalls!’ which had a lot of misspellings because we couldn’t really understand. She told me I should go into art like my mother wanted. Here I am.”

John didn’t know when the car stopped, but when he looked up the car was no longer in motion. They were parked outside of the dorms, and both Theodosia and Aaron were turned around in their seats. Her hand was on John’s leg, and Aaron was handing him a paper towel. 

He took it, wiping tears that he didn’t even realize were there away. That happened when he talked about his family, people his father said never wanted to see him again but never why. 

“I’m so sorry to hear about your mother, John,” Theodosia said in a soft voice. “We are always here in case you need us.”

“She’s right,” Aaron agreed, placing a hand over the one she had rested on John. “Now why don’t we get inside. You can shower, change, charge your phone. Then Theo and I can take you for a late lunch. How does that sound?”

John didn’t say anything, just nodded his head and climbed out. The three made their way to John’s room. When they arrived, John got out his key only to notice the door was opened a crack.

That was weird. 

He pushed it the rest of the way, his eyes glued to the figure standing in the middle of the room. The man stood tall, hands behind his back and a smile on his face. Aaron and Theodosia stood behind John, peeking around to see who it was.

“ _Bonjour mon ami!_ “ Lafayette greeted, pulling a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. 

Well, this was quite a shock. John walked in and took the flowers, his cheeks growing a shade of red as he stared at Lafayette, mouth opened. Finally he found words, but not the ones he wanted to say.

“How did you get in my room?”


	8. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two people finally meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's been a while. I don't actually remember the last time I updated, but school started back up, so I've been busy with that. I had this written for maybe a week, but I had to go back and edit a lot.

Surprisingly Aaron and Theodosia hadn’t left. The two of them stayed, taking a seat on John’s bed while he talked to Lafayette about why the man can’t just break into his dorm when he’s not around. 

“I do not see the issue. You were not around, so I let myself in." Lafayette stated, arms crossing as he stared down at John.

He wasn’t mad. Not at all. Really the gesture was kind and rather innocent: Lafayette went to check on John because he had gotten home early and called to ask if he wanted to hang out, but John had not answered his calls or messages within twenty-four hours when usually he would answer right away. He was worried, and when he saw John he knew he was right to be so.

“What if I had been home, but I was asleep or...you know…” he trailed off, letting Lafayette fill the blanks in. The male seemed to get it because he snorted, hand covering his mouth before going right back to serious. 

“Enough of this,” he said, leading John to a chair and sitting him down. “Tell me what happened, _mon amour._ ” 

“Nothing too big. I just got jumped by some guy I knew last year. Him and one of his little goons that follow him around,” John explained as he took the seat, grabbing Lafayette’s arm and dragging him to his side so he could lean his head onto him. “Aaron and Theodosia,” he motioned to the two on his bed, “helped me. Aaron chased them away while Theo kept me alive.”

Lafayette turned his head to the couple, not wanted to interrupt John as he leaned on him. He lifted the opposite hand, waving to them and offering a smile. 

“We were about to head out if you wanted to join.” Theodosia chimed, standing to properly shake Lafayette’s hand. 

Lafayette looked at John, who seemed to be half sleeping on his arm at the moment. It was unbelievably cute. 

“Maybe,” Aaron spoke now, standing and walking beside Theodosia, “we shouldn’t go today. John is tired, and I’m sure that since Lafayette is back he would like to spend a little time with him. We can go out when he’s feeling better.” 

John gave a small nod, now yawning. It didn’t really hit him until this very moment that he was so _tired_. Too tired to do much, but he felt a little bad. They had decided to go out just yesterday, and already John was backing away from the promise. 

“It’s for the best." Theodosia said as if she could see the disappointment on John’s face. 

“But I said I would -” John began, now shoving off the other. Before he could continue, though, Aaron held up a finger and shook his head. 

“Rest. We’ll go out when you’re better. Have Lafayette change the bandage at eight and then head to bed,” he said, grabbing a pen and paper. After he wrote a few things he handed it to Lafayette. “Pills should be taken when you change the bandages, but make sure he eats. Nothing with caffeine or sugar, please. He _needs_ sleep.”

Lafayette opened his mouth, staring at the paper for a second. He closed it, looking at Aaron and nodded quickly. With that the couple said their goodbyes to Lafayette and John, hugging John and kissing both of his cheeks before walking out. 

Once the door was closed, Lafayette looked down at John and sighed, guiding the shorter male to the bed and sitting with him. The two leaned back, laying to stare at the ceiling. 

“You have some very nice friends." Lafayette spoke after a moment, turning on his side to look at John. 

A small smile showed on John’s face as he nodded, eyes not leaving the ceiling. He could feel Lafayette’s eyes on him. They moved from his face to his head and down his body. Nothing about the feeling was sexual at all. It was more of a feeling that Lafayette was studying, trying to memorize every part of John so when he left he wouldn’t forget. 

“They are nice,” he agreed, head turning slightly to look at Lafayette. “Tell me about France.”

Lafayette stared for a minute again before speaking. “ _Non._ You must get rest. Sleep. I will wake you in a while with something to eat.” 

John nodded before waving Lafayette from his bed, getting up a little only to lay back down and cover up. He closed his eyes, thinking about what had happened. Was that really Charles fucking _Lee_ and his little sidekick? Why the hell would he attack him. John soon enough found himself falling asleep.

Lafayette didn’t leave, instead sitting at John’s desk and going onto his phone, messaging Alexander about what had just happened. He reacted just as he expected, even saying he would come home soon, but Lafayette said it was unnecessary. He had this handled. He had even taken the time to mention Theodosia and Aaron helping John when they saw he was in trouble, and Alexander seemed to be better with that information. 

After a few more minutes he heard the lock click on the door. It was odd. No one else should be home from vacation until tomorrow at the earliest, it only being the day after Thanksgiving, and no one else around seemed to know John enough to have the key.

The door opened, and the man who walked in caused Lafayette to set his phone on the desk and straighten his back. What was _he_ doing back so early?

Hair shoved into a lazy bun, face unshaven, clothes too nice to match the tired eyes and bad stature, there in the doorway stood Thomas Jefferson. His dark eyes wonder from Lafayette to the sleeping John. He walked in, ignoring the man that was sitting at John’s desk and laid in his own bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

“So you’re Thomas?” Lafayette questioned, legs crossing as his eyes stayed on the man. He was expecting someone who looked...better. Clean face, nice hair, good posture.

“Yeah. I assume you’re the Lafayette Johnny boy has been seeing?”

“ _Oui._ ” 

Thomas sat up now, sitting on the edge of his bed. The man seemed to be between leaving and staying. John hadn’t seen him. There was not reason to be around if all that was here was this complete fucking stranger.

He stood and walked towards the door, hand going to the knob before he turned back to Lafayette and eyed him. He looked nice, and the accent really did scream French. That was a little fun, and he would be lying if Thomas said he hated France. Maybe he could bare a few minutes with this man.

Thomas huffed and walked to his desk, straightening his hair and clothes before taking a seat. It was across the room facing away, but he turned to seat to look at Lafayette. If he was going to sit here with him he may as well make conversation. 

“With the chance of sounding rude,” Lafayette said, interrupting whatever Jefferson had in mind of talking about, “what are you doing here? John told me you, like many others, would not arrive back until Saturday.”

“Pop said it best if I came home early. Somethin’ about gettin’ extra work,” He admitted, leaning back in the chair and crossing his arms. “What about you?”

“I was in France seeing my..ah...parents when we had to cut short,” Lafayette said, picking at his nails just the smallest bit as he spoke. They were long and unpicked, but Thomas made him feel some sort of false sense of security, and he hated it. “Something came up in work, so I had to go. I called and texted John, but he didn’t answer so I came to check.”

Thomas allowed his eyes to wonder the the male who was curled up in his bed. His breathing was slow and soft, his hair a curly mess behind him. From there he looked fine, but he soon caught eye of the bandage on his head. 

“What happened?” Thomas asked, trying his best not to sound concerned in any way.

“Someone jumped him. He had his earbuds in and didn’t hear them. If Aaron Burr and Theodosia Prevost had not helped, John might be dead.” Lafayette spoke quick, not missing a single beat after the question had been asked. 

“Oh shit.” Thomas replied, eyes not really ever leaving John’s sleeping figure. 

The two let silence take over before Thomas stood, walking to the door and waving at Lafayette. He waved back shortly, watching as he walked out, door quietly shutting behind him. 

What an odd man.


	9. The Second Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette and John finally get to the second date!

“So he’s home?” John asked, staring at Lafayette from across the table, the menu opened and laying down in front of him. He was more interested in things other than food. For one he had never been in this place before, and he wanted to look around a bit. 

“Yes he is,” Lafayette spoke, eyes not leaving the words on the menu. “He knows you were jumped. I told him, though I did spare a lot of details, such as you in the hospital and such. If you wish to tell him, then do, but I did not want him to know all of the things if you wished differently.”

John nodded and looked down, licking his lips as he read the words in front of him. There wasn’t much to say about Thomas arriving early, and he was thankful that Lafayette spared details Maybe he could manage to catch him and talk to him about the notes. Not now, though. This was their second date. 

Once John had woken from the nap, Lafayette asked him to a diner for dinner, bringing up that the second date had been interrupted and how much he would really like a redo. Of course John agreed, getting on a slightly nicer outfit before letting Lafayette lead him from the dorms and to his car, driving them into town.

Now they sat in a booth towards the back of the room. John let his eyes wonder, taking in the place. It wasn’t fancy, but nothing run down and shabby. There were only three other people seeing as it was pretty late:

A man sat at the bar, drink in hand as he complained about things. What he was saying wasn’t clear, his words slurred and running along in a sentence as one. Every now and then he would raise his arms, waving them around. All but one of the waitresses gave him odd looks, the one who wasn’t just rolling her eyes and mumbling a small, ‘I know, Sim, I know,’ before taking his cup and replacing it with water. She caught John’s eyes, smiled, and gestured to the man before taking her finger and doing small swirls around the side of her head. Crazy.

John laughed, letting his eyes wander along the beige colored walls and to another man who was seated in a booth on the other side of the room. His leg bounced and there was a small laptop in front of him as well as a stack of books piled on his desk. The man reminded John of Alexander, but he seemed taller. Not only that but his hair was blond, which was way different from his little brunet friend. The door chimed catching John’s attention, and his eyes averted to a man standing in the door, arms spread and smile covering his face. 

Of course that wasn’t the only thing on his face. This man clearly hasn’t heard of shaving. 

“Benny boy guess what I just found out!” He yelled before running to the man on his laptop - Ben? - and sitting down, now suddenly quiet. What he found out was left unknown to everybody but those two.

John smiled and looked around a little more. The place was nice enough, nothing too much sticking out. Seats and tables lined the room, and four or five were seated up at the bar. He sighed, eyes now going to the final one in the room. She sat, back straight and eyes scanning a letter. Whoever she was seemed to be quite mysterious since she was not giving too much off about her character. Her clothes were plain - a white shirt and light blue jeans - and her brown hair was shoved into a bun. Somehow she looked familiar, and it took John a second to realize she had been the waitress from their first date. 

Coincidence. 

“-but it is all up to you, of course.” John heard Lafayette finish, and soon his eyes snapped from the woman to Lafayette. 

His cheeks flushed just a little, eyes quickly going down to look at the menu. What had the other said? Did he know John wasn’t paying attention? 

“Uh…” John began, fully ready to wing whatever he had to say. “We could, uhm, just...uh…” 

Shit. 

Lafayette laughed, hand going over to hold John’s. His thumb rubbed over John’s knuckles softly, as though he was telling John it was fine without even speaking the words. 

“I said you are welcome to stay in my home tonight,” Lafayette spoke, eyes staying on John as he spoke. “Thomas did not seem to want to go back, and it would be best if you were not left alone.” 

Oh. 

_Oh._

“No,” John said a bit too quickly. He coughed before looking up at Lafayette. “No I’ll be fine. I need to be back at the dorm to do homework and shit anyways. Thanks for the offer, though.”

Lafayette seemed disappointed, but he didn’t try to beg or convince John otherwise. It would’ve probably worked. John had been persuaded to do a lot worse by just a few words.   
The two sat in silence before someone swung by to take their orders. Lafayette had landed on some kind of grilled chicken with a salad, getting a medium vanilla shake along with the food. It sounded nice, but really John was a sucker for waffles. He ended up getting two stacks of them with some hash browns, a chocolate shake to go along.

“You enjoy waffles.” Lafayette laughed as the waitress took the menus and walked off to give the order to the chef. 

John nodded, a big smile on his face. “They’re one of my favorites. Breakfast is my favorite meal, but I don’t eat it a lot in the mornin’ ‘cause it makes me feel sick.”

It was a small fact. A random one, but knowing it seemed to please Lafayette. There were things that were small, but important. Always know what someone’s favorite meal time is, and which one makes them sick.

“I enjoy lunch,” Lafayette admitted, tapping a finger against the table. “It’s a little meal between breakfast and dinner, and it feels nice to eat.”

That was a weird way to put it, but John wasn’t about to say it. Who was he to judge what other people say? 

Lafayette and John talked, eating the food and laughing at small jokes. They had ended up staying right up to closing, John now practically leaning on Lafayette and half asleep. The tiredness was a side effect from medicine he took for pain, and it seemed to be taking full effect on John. 

They drove to the dorms, and John declined the offer to be walked inside. He wasn’t five. John leaned over, planting a kiss on Lafayette’s cheek. The blush that showed on the man’s face made him laugh a bit before climbing out, waving an going to his room. 

As soon as he walked in he was greeted by such a usual sight: Thomas seated at his desk, typing away on his laptop. It would have felt nice to see such a good sight if John didn’t need to talk to him about something Thomas would most definitely hate.

He took a breath, closing the door and clearing his throat. This caused Thomas to pause, glance up, and continue. John sighed and walked over, closing the laptop slowly. The man didn’t stop him, just watched as he did so, hands moving from the keyboard to sit on his lap.

“We need to talk.” John stated, hand not leaving the top of the laptop. 

Thomas leaned back, making no movement to remove John’s hand. “Then talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short guys!!!


	10. Refresh your m I N d

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated and I have 2 more chapters written. Instead of posting them let me summarize wtf is happening.

Hey guys! An update is coming soon. There was a small break due to block, family matters, and a handful of drama. It’s nice to be back, though! Since it has been so long, and since my writing wasn’t quite 100%, I decided to summarize what’s happened this far. 

We start at the beginning. A cool Friday night in which John Laurens joins his best friend, Alexander Hamilton, Alex’s girlfriend, Elizabeth Schuyler, and a stranger on a double date. As it turns out, John’s blind date was Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette. They went to dinner, where Eliza and Alexander had actually made two separate reservations, leaving the two to speak on their own terms. Afterwards he admits that Lafayette is cool, and they have a second date planned. 

That night John went back to his room. His roommate, Thomas Jefferson, was in the room already. After small talk John went to shower, only to find a note sitting on his towels. It was from a secret admirer, and it was meant for John. Saturday he went out with Alexander, who he showed the note to. They were seated in a McDonald’s when Peggy Schuyler and her girlfriend, Maria Lewis, went up to them. As Peggy and Alexander talk it’s revealed that John has a one sided crush on Alex while Maria has one on Eliza. The four of them took a trip to the movies and hung out it was fun!

That same night John gets another mysterious note. He also talks with his favorite ( only ) roommate, Thomas, and that dick points out it’s probably Alexander sliding notes for Lafayette. John actually agrees too he’s like oh yeah probably. Also Thomas says he isn’t doing anything for break but he actually is.

Next morning hits and John wakes up to an empty room but doesn’t care because Thomas disappears a lot it’s just him. He gets dressed to go on that zesty second date with Lafayette ( in which I use the professional phrase ‘Hit him the fuck up!’ really if you haven’t read this all you should my writing skills are awesome ) but is interrupted as he walks by James Madison. James is being a good friend and is extra worried about Thomas, but as they walk John stops and cals Laf because they were gonna go on a date and he was like “should probs tell him.” Madison took the phone and hung up though. 

James accidentally tells John that Thomas is #gayforhim and John is shook. It is revealed that Thomas wrote the secret notes because he’s a self-conscious gay. 

Thanksgiving break hits and Thomas left like he said he wouldn’t. John invites Peggy over cause they’re bffls. John tells Peggy what he learned and she is like “idk maybe James lied bc he was worried” but John quickly throws that out because why would he care so much this time unless something happened that would push him? Like a broken heart. Peggy leaves soon enough because Eliza and Angelica are waiting for her so they can go to see family.

John is alone. No Alexander or Maria. No Peggy, Eliza, or Angelica. No Lafayette or Thomas. He decided to go on a walk but soon regretted it when Charles Lee and a goon of his jumped John on the side of the road. 

Luckily we meet Aaron Burr and his lovely gal pal Theodosia at this exact moment, and they take John to the hospital. They actually become quick friends, and tbh Aaron and Theo adopt John they literally parent him. Turns out Aaron knows Alexander, and knows some things about John because of how much the guy talks about him 

They take John back to his dorm room after making plans to go out and eat, but Lafayette is there and he’s worried. Apparently the guy came home early and got really concerned when John wouldn’t answer his texts or calls, so he broke into the dorm room and waited, thinking maybe John was out and about and forgot to charge his phone. He was very concerned to see John messed up. Aaron and Theodosia offer to take them both out to eat, but John is falling asleep on Laf so those two leave while Lafayette stays in the room with a sleeping John.

Cue Thomas Jefferson coming home. What’d he miss? Literally everything. Nothing new here.

He sits on his own bed and has a very short conversation with Lafayette. It’s awkward and everyone is tense except John because he’s still asleep. Thomas says his dad sent him back to get work done but he already has everything finished. Thomas eventually leaves.

John wakes up and goes out to eat with Lafayette. In this chapter ( The Second Date ) the background characters are from Turn: Washington’s Spies a small shout out to those who didn’t miss the detail. Also Lafayette asks John if he wants to stay over so he isn’t alone since Thomas most likely won’t be back. He declines, but when he gets to the dorm Thomas is there.

This is where I stopped despite having TWO WHOLE OTHER CHAPTERS WRITTEN WHY DID I NEVER POST ???? 

Sorry I hope this was enjoyable to read. Here’s another refresher that will make more sense:

John - 21 - Art major - confused gay - got jumped by Charles Lee - Freshman  
Alexander - 21 - law - dating Eliza - somehow knows everyone - Freshman  
Eliza - 20 - nursing - dating Alexander - loves everyone - Freshman  
Angelica - 29 - doctor - married - lives in a city nearby - Graduated  
Peggy - 18 - Highschool senior - dating Maria - is only friends w/ everyone bc of Lize  
Aaron - 22 - law - dating Theo - doesn’t talk too much - Sophomore  
Theodosia - 22 - ??? - dating Aaron - everyone loves her??? - Sophomore  
Thomas - 22 - plants? - crush on John - used to sell drugs - Sophomore  
Lafayette - 21 - French teach - crush on John - rich as heck - Freshman  
Hercules - 21 - tailor? - single - just wants is friends happy - Freshman  
Maria - 20 - Art major - dating Peggy - crush on Eliza - Freshman  
George Washington - 47 - Senator - married - adopted Alex


	11. The Second Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John talks to Thomas, but thungs go wrong.

Neither of them had spoken for the past ten minutes. It was weird. Awkward. 

Thomas hadn’t bothered to look away from John, dark eyes burning into him. This was a lot different from how Lafayette stared at him. When he looked at John it was with love, admiration. He would study John, eyes tracing every last freckle and line as if he needed to memorize it.

Thomas staring at him was different. It was eyes burning into him, curiosity, tiredness, and maybe just a little anger from John pulling him away. Somewhere in there, though, seemed to be the smallest hint of friendship. Of love. 

There _had_ to be.

“He told me,” John finally said, eyes going from his mattress to Thomas. “Madison told me about the notes. Why did you do it?”

Thomas no longer seemed to have the anger in his eyes. Though, he wasn’t relaxed. The man seemed tense, panicked even. He didn’t want this conversation. He didn’t want John to _know._ He coughed, took a breath, and soon he was back to normal. 

“What notes?” Thomas asked, folding his hands.   
Funny. 

He didn’t want to admit it was him. It was embarrassing. 

“Thomas,” John said, voice now rising a little. He didn’t get why the anger took over so quickly, but it did. It was there. “Don’t play dumb for once. Just admit it.”

“I’m not!” Thomas snapped, face now matching the anger that had grown in his eyes. “I didn’t write notes, John! Especially not those cheesy little ones you got from the crazy person that decided you’re even worth their time!” 

They both shut up after that comment. Tears seemed to well up in John’s eyes, and Thomas seemed to realize his mistake too late. 

John stood from his bed, grabbing a gym bag and shoving a mixture of dirty and clean clothes in it. After that he glanced over and grabbed the pill bottles, shoving them into a side pocket. He began shoving in his art supplies: paint, pencils, rulers, and even a notebook or two. Lafayette offered him a night, and he would take it. Tomorrow he would ask Alexander if he could go to his dorm.

“John-” Thomas began, standing and walking to the other.

“No!” He snapped, spinning fast, dropping the bag and throwing a hand that was meant to slap Thomas.   
Only his hand didn’t connect with his face. Instead it was stopped, wrist now wrapped in a strong grasp. John didn’t try to rip away even though he knew he fully could. His eyes studied Thomas’s face, his eyes.   
Guilty.

There was nothing but pure guilt in them now.   
But John wasn’t going to let him get away with that comment. 

“You don’t get to look at me like that,” John finally said, voice colder than a stone sitting in Antarctica. “You don’t get to take back those words. Don’t even talk to me. Just let go.”

Thomas shook his head, squeezing just a bit harder. He wouldn’t let go. 

He wouldn’t give up.

Why wouldn’t he just go away?

“John listen to me.” He said, voice now carrying less coldness and more concern. 

He didn’t have the right. 

“Let me go, Thomas,” John said, now trying to yank the hand away. It didn’t work for the first time, making John believe that other times they fought like this Thomas let him rip away. He let him go. This time was different. “Please.”

“No,” Thomas fumed, now sweeping down to grab John’s other wrist. He wouldn’t _let him leave._ “You aren’t going to leave, John. Stay. Go lay down.

Thomas turned as he spoke, shoving John backwards and onto the bed. John allowed him, falling onto the mattress and immediately scrambling to the wall. He wasn’t necessarily afraid, but he wasn’t about to let Thomas go and sit behind him. He was better off with him in front. 

If he sat in front John could take him on.

From behind he would be useless.

Though he didn’t sit on the bed, instead picking up John’s bag and setting it on his own bed behind him as he took a seat, setting his head into his hands. Thomas took a breath and looked at John. 

“Fuck you.” John mumbled, bringing his knees to his chest. 

“I’m an asshole, I know,” Thomas admitted, rubbing his temples before standing to only sit on John’s bed, just barely on the edge and at the end. “Listen, John, I did write them. I wrote the notes and I’m sorry for the earlier comment. You are not a waste of time.”

John stared at him. There were no words he could think of to match the feeling he had. Confusion? Anger? Shame? Maybe even a little happiness. Emotions were mixed, bumping in one another.

Which was why when he found himself pulling away from Thomas’s lips he was confused.   
When did he kiss him?

It definitely wasn’t Thomas who initiated the kiss. The man was still seated on the edge of John’s bed, the only things to move being the hands that were laying on John’s cheeks. John on the other hand had moved from his spot against the wall, now next to Thomas, a hand on his cheek as the other laid on the bed to balance him.

“You’re an asshole.” John mumbled, scooting away from Thomas.

“I am,” Thomas agreed, hands travelling to John’s hips slowly. “But you kissed me.”

John chewed his lip before nodding. That was true. For some reason John _kissed_ Thomas, and it concerned him more than anything in the world. Why would he do that?

“I need to think.” John finally said, climbing off of his bed before walking to Thomas’s, grabbing his bag and walking to the door. 

This time he hadn’t tried to stop him.

Thomas didn’t grab him. 

He just let him open the door.

Walk out.

Where to now?

John stood in the hall, getting out his phone and running through the contacts. Finally he landed on one, someone he knew was in town tonight. Not Lafayette, he needed a break after what just happened. Time to think. Alexander came back tomorrow, and so did the Schuyler sisters. Maria was out as well, gone to see family.

That left John with two choices: James Madison, who didn’t visit family often but John never really trusted too much, or Aaron Burr, the man he just met but already trusts with his life.

The choice was an easy one.

Tomorrow he would talk this over with him until Alexander and Peggy were back.

He pressed call, relieved when there was an answer. The voice on the other side was deep and sounded beyond exhausted, though it was only ten at night. 

“Aaron? Mind if I stay over?”


	12. Small Break

This time I'm telling I am going on a hiatus because, well...i don't know. I feel bad for not mentioning. All my writing for Hamilton characters have gone down in the past month, and because of that I'm not sure I can continue this.

If I decide to stop I'll tell you guys the four endings I was going to decide from. If not then you'll get one main ending plus shirt chapters if what could have been. 

Thank you for reading.


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